OOTD: SMILE THROUGH THE SHADOWS....

Back in the fall, I took  photos with a heavy shadow falling on me.  I don't know why but I held back on these photos.  I wasn't sure if I should show them at all.  The outfit was fine and the lighting was perfect but still I didn't want to show them. 

I now realize why.

During the time I took these photos I was dealing with a lot of change.   I'd gain 20lbs. My mini me was starting middle school and would be taking public transportation for the first time by herself.  I had major doubts about my application to my Masters program.  I loss contact with friends that I considered dear to me and wasn't sure why.  My body was hurting and I was mentally drain. 

When I took the photos, I had all these thoughts and doubt and wasn't sure how to deal with them.  When I saw these photos I just saw all the shadows.  All the darkness around me.  Nothing stood out but the shadows. 

"In 2017 I will be...." is the phrase heard over and over again.  A new year signify a new beginning.  Feeling like the world is on re-set every year maybe great for most but not the way I handle a new year. Most New Year goals crash and burn because people can not plan.  I should now.  I was a terrible "New Year New Me" resolution setter. 

 

Maybe its because I'm a Cancer but, doing things that way didn't work for me.  I've walked to the beat of my own drum and done things on my time. Now, I don't reset for 2017 or create goals for beginning of the year.  I set goals throughout the year.  I make a commitment to work towards the goal and work it every day. 

 I move forward through the shadows.

When you do things differently you handle things differently.  By then end of 2016 I had done more then I expected.  I'm in school (meaning I got my ass in gear finished my application and got accepted).  Mini me is doing just fine and even made new friends while taking the bus home. The weight came down and my mental health is getting back on track.  I realize I may have lost some friends but I gain SO much more and even though I am sad at the lost connections I am also grateful for my new ones.
I guess the main thing I learned is to smile.  Smile though your shadows.  They are there ( they will always be there) but that doesn't mean they hold you down.  Sometimes you have to pick your head up, smile and move forward.  The shadows will always be there, but you just smile and everything will get better.
I started this as just an outfit post but I want to send a message to my Stylistas that you have to smile through your shadows and remember to always keep moving forward.

In 2017 lets smile through our shadows

Outfit details (because it was a fly outfit)

Jacket: Lane Bryant

Jeans top boots: Avenue 

Much love to my photographer Lee!!!

Hit her up on Insagram @artnlee

#BLOGGERS FOR BLACK LIVES: THE BLACK WOMAN

(I wrote this post days before the election) 

 We came out, voted and now we have a elected president.

 Congratulations to president elect _______ (Please don't let it be Trump).

Have you heard the expression  "Black on a Friday?"  This expression means that a cop will stop, frisked, jail,  shoot and or kill for no other reason than you being black.  It's something the black community thrown around to deal with police brutality in our neightborhoods.  With so much turmiol in 2015-2016 when it came to racial inequality and police brutality, this antitote became something that the whole word got an upclose look at. 

 

Growing up in one of the "worst" neighborhoods in Brooklyn, police harassment and brutality was witnessed almost everyday.  I've had boyfriends, nefews, brothers, nieces and friends both male and female, put in jail for no reason other than they were black.  Thrown in a holding cell over night with no other reason or changed with any crime.  The holding was nothing but a scare tactic to them and even worst to the their families.  Can you picture being in a cell and not knowing why you are there.  Can you image being the family of a person locked up and not told why they are there or when they are getting out.  FEAR is, and will always be, the most lethal weapon of the black community. 

One night not knowing where anyone of you family is and if they will come home alive is not only scary but torture.  The terrible thing is, when its done over and over again it feels like an old wound being reopened.   The fear of jail or death was a CONSTANT scary thing that was so constant I unfortunatly became numb too.  

People often ask how Philando Castile, 32yr old man shot in his car with his girlfriend and child, girlfriend remained so calm.  My theory is the same reason why I became numb to hearing another love one was jailed.  You realize as the black woman you have to remain calm or you too will be gone and who will take care of the children left behind. 

Now  in 2016, after the election of a Black President, that discrimination from the people paid to protect blacks is NOW an issue being broadcast on TV and social media. But for me I have alway had that front row seat to the brutality and have ALWAYS FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE...

My friend and "Shero" Chardline, Plus Size Beausion, ask me to be apart of the movement Bloggers for Black Lives.  I agreed without hesitation. #Bloggersforblacklives comes together in solidarity, and all black.  We stand up in the fight against public police and goverment officals treating minorities (including black women) as sub citizens. We deem it unconstitutional and NOT acceptable. 

  
Dressed in my all black (and sneakers because I'm way too Brooklyn) I took pictures with my neighborhood as my background.  The grafitti that was said to put my neighborhood as a target, I use as the background to show the beauty in my city.  (Now you know why I always take photos in front of murals and wall art).  The dirty is not fashionable and my neighborhood is now in"transition" but what hasn't changed is police harassment and brutality. 

I will always stand and fight in my own way.

I will support my black own companies (specially black women).  I will continue to speak to girl about self esteem and mental health.  Watch over my family/friend  and educate them on economic independence, the importance of money and the power in it.  Support and visit my local government officials so they know, yes I'm here and I will be watching you. 

  I'm also standing, with pride might I add,  with my fellow bloggers in the movement. I encourage you to do the same.  Here are some other bloggers who have join.  Check them out

#Bloggersforblacklives

"Thorton P." Thorton Paul
"Phat Girl Fresh" Maui Bigelow
"Ready to Stare"Alysse Dalessandro

"Chardline Faiteau" Plus Size Beausion
Kavah King "Gentlemen Curb"

"Natalia Lilly" Beauty Beyond Curves

What I'm wearing...

Dress: Yona NY

Leather Jacket: Lane Bryant

Necklace: Mirina Collections

Backpack: Target

Sneakers: Phillip Lim
#Bloggersforblacklives