Back in the fall, I took photos with a heavy shadow falling on me. I don't know why but I held back on these photos. I wasn't sure if I should show them at all. The outfit was fine and the lighting was perfect but still I didn't want to show them.
I now realize why.
During the time I took these photos I was dealing with a lot of change. I'd gain 20lbs. My mini me was starting middle school and would be taking public transportation for the first time by herself. I had major doubts about my application to my Masters program. I loss contact with friends that I considered dear to me and wasn't sure why. My body was hurting and I was mentally drain.
When I took the photos, I had all these thoughts and doubt and wasn't sure how to deal with them. When I saw these photos I just saw all the shadows. All the darkness around me. Nothing stood out but the shadows.
"In 2017 I will be...." is the phrase heard over and over again. A new year signify a new beginning. Feeling like the world is on re-set every year maybe great for most but not the way I handle a new year. Most New Year goals crash and burn because people can not plan. I should now. I was a terrible "New Year New Me" resolution setter.
Maybe its because I'm a Cancer but, doing things that way didn't work for me. I've walked to the beat of my own drum and done things on my time. Now, I don't reset for 2017 or create goals for beginning of the year. I set goals throughout the year. I make a commitment to work towards the goal and work it every day.
I move forward through the shadows.
When you do things differently you handle things differently. By then end of 2016 I had done more then I expected. I'm in school (meaning I got my ass in gear finished my application and got accepted). Mini me is doing just fine and even made new friends while taking the bus home. The weight came down and my mental health is getting back on track. I realize I may have lost some friends but I gain SO much more and even though I am sad at the lost connections I am also grateful for my new ones.
I guess the main thing I learned is to smile. Smile though your shadows. They are there ( they will always be there) but that doesn't mean they hold you down. Sometimes you have to pick your head up, smile and move forward. The shadows will always be there, but you just smile and everything will get better.
I started this as just an outfit post but I want to send a message to my Stylistas that you have to smile through your shadows and remember to always keep moving forward.
In 2017 lets smile through our shadows
Outfit details (because it was a fly outfit)
Jacket: Lane Bryant
Jeans top boots: Avenue
Much love to my photographer Lee!!!
Hit her up on Insagram @artnlee
